My Survival Story

You've just found out the best news of your life. You're pregnant. It's a glorious day when you find out you are expecting one of God's greatest gifts. You immediately begin preparing. You have clothes to buy, furniture to assemble, and a room to paint. All mothers know the feeling. It’s a feeling only God can give, a precious baby lives inside of you.

You are starting to experience all the joys of pregnancy, after all you’ve just been pregnant six weeks. Then there is another joy, morning sickness. You’ve always dreamed this would happen. It’s the only time in your life when you enjoy being sick. You’ve heard it will just last a few days so you don’t think anything of it. It seems to linger longer than you think it should, and you begin to get worried. You give up and call the doctor. The nurse tells you to get to the hospital or your baby can die. What a horrifying experience. At least that’s how it was for me.

I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum very early in my pregnancy, but not without going through psychological evaluations first. Of course this was a planned pregnancy and yes, I wanted this baby. This was not a question, and selective termination was not an option for me.

Hyperemesis can be compared to the most severe form of food poisoning you could possibly imagine.

I’ve never been so sick in my life. Day after day I would lie in bed praying God would heal me from this horrible illness. When I would think of something I found the slightest bit abhorrent I would vomit. I could not stand the smell of food, cleaning chemicals, soap, or even my husband. It was horrendous.

I remember my first trip to the emergency room. Several nurses tried to begin my IV to no avail. I was severely dehydrated. This became the first of many hospital stays. Eventually a PICC line was put in place so that I could avoid the agonizing torture that came with starting an IV.

The sickness did not go away. It did not matter what I tried. The traditional crackers and pickles just made me more nauseous, and every prescription didn’t help the slightest. Constant vomiting twenty-four hours a day with no ending. I must survive nine months for myself and the baby.

Whenever home health would visit my home, they would immediately send me to the hospital because dehydration is not healthy for mom or the baby. The normal pregnancy “glow” only occurred in the “glowing” stuff that I flushed down the toilet.

I had a pump that injected me with nausea medicine at certain intervals throughout the day. This is the same medicine prescribed to cancer patients undergoing chemotherapy. I was only twenty years old and I felt as though I was dying.

My husband and I agreed this would be our first and only child together. This would be a hard decision for me because all my life I had always imagined a large family with lots of children. Pregnancy was not supposed to be this way.

I eventually begged my doctor to induce labor. I could not live like this anymore. Finally with only two weeks remaining until my due date, he agreed. It was a glorious day for me. Labor was simple when compared to Hyperemesis.

The sickness was gone immediately, but it would take years to be healed of the lasting anguish. It was truly a life changing experience for me.

I would say that I kept my promise that I would never have any more children. But I didn’t. Six weeks later I started all over again. Yes, I would face Hyperemesis yet again, but not in the same severity this time. I love my children more than life itself. If I could change anything, I probably wouldn’t. My children are alive and that’s all that matters.

Dreams

I was just thinking about my dreams in life. As a child, all I could ever imagine was one day graduating from high school. Dream fulfilled. It seems as if life hands us one milestone after the other. The one thing our dreams doesn't tell us is what's in between the milestones.

When you are twelve years old, your dreams tell you everything is going to be great. What your dreams do not warn you about is what is going to happen before you accomplish them.

Dreams tell you you will walk down the walkway with your head held high at graduation. They do not tell you of the peer pressures that you will face, or the times you will want to give up before you make it there.

I'm not sure why we see everything to perfection, but we do. The peer pressures we endured only makes us stronger.

We are able to grasp life a little stronger. Dreams tell you you will one day get married to a fabulous person. You will walk down the aisle and everyone will see you in a gorgeous dress. They do not tell you that after that day you must come off your fairy tale life and face reality.


This is when life started for me. On the day I got married I stepped into the place of "wife." I also immediately stepped into the role of a mother. I'm not complaining, I thank God for them. I'm just trying to say when you see dreams you do not know what God has in store.

Dreams tell you you will conceive a child, or children. They do not tell you of the complications that can be involved with pregnancy.

I was 20 years old when I found out was pregnant. It was a dream all my life. You know seeing myself in baby stores shopping. All I ever wanted was a baby girl. I was ecstatic. I started shopping immediately for maternity clothes. I brought them home and couldn't wait to get into them. One day after a long day of shopping, and a doctor's appointment, I begin to feel very sick. All pregnant women get this so I was okay with it. My dreams even showed me this part of pregnancy. It's normal. So I thought.

I stopped eating because I was sick, thinking that would help the situation. No. It did not help me. I was constantly vomiting. After visiting the doctor, he sees I am very dehydrated and decides to admit me. I think, "This was not in my dreams." The hospital got some fluids in me and I go home. But the vomiting has not stopped. I remember it as if it was yesterday. "Mrs. Shuler, it appears if you have Hyperemesis gravidarum." What is that? Well, you certainly don't hear that in your dreams. You see I vomited 24 hours a day and ate nothing. My dreams had lied to me.

Pregnancy was supposed to be great. Wasn't I supposed to "glow?" The only thing glowing for me was that stuff I just flushed down the toilet. After 22, yes 22 visits to the ER to have fluids and 10 of those being admitted to the hospital, my doctor agreed to let me have home health. They were supposed to keep me out of the hospital and those nasty germs that belong there.

Even though I had a great husband, even he didn't seem to understand my situation. He didn't understand or believe you could really be that sick. I'll never forget that time in my life, in a lot of ways I just wanted to die.I had a pump that I continually wore, that constantly pumped me nausea medicine. Zofran to be exact, what they give cancer patients that are undergoing chemotherapy.

Words can not explain what I endured. Nine months of nausea and vomiting. Could you imagine a nine month long stomach virus? Ugh, I know. I said I would NEVER have another baby.

Why do I feel like I should share this, I don't know. Believe it or not, It has played long term effects on me.

I do not look at anything the same. I gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl,Katelyn, on March 3, 2005.

Only to begin again and do it all over again. I gave birth to another baby girl, Kassie, On February 3, 2006. Yes, that's exactly 11 months later.

Dreams tell you you will raise Godly children. They will be perfect. That's where I am right now. I hope my dreams tell truth.